“AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH MY LEG!” said Steve.
“What’s wrong?” said Bob.
“It’s fallen off.” said Steve.
“Oh.” said Bob, “Do you think we could put it back on?”
“No.” said Steve.
“Oh.” said Bob.
It was all very awkward. There was a brief pause. Then Bob spoke:
“I’ve never seen anybody’s leg fall off.” He said, blushing slightly.
“How very interesting,” said Steve.
The silence resumed.
Before long, the pair saw an old man walking along the road.
“Excuse me, Old Man,” queried Bob, “you haven’t seen this fellow’s leg anywhere, have you?” The old man stopped for a minute and contemplated the matter before shaking his head.
“No, ‘fraid not.” he said.
“Oh.” said Bob, “Only it’s quite important to him. If you do see it, do you reckon you could bring it back?”
“Yes.” said the old man, grinning is such a way as to reveal his depleted stock of brown teeth and bleeding gums. Then Bob noticed a bit of skin stuck between two of his teeth.
“I say, old fellow,” said Bob, “You haven’t eaten this dear man’s leg, have you?”
“No.” said the old man.
“That’s just as well then.” Said Bob, very much relieved; “Only, if you had, it would have been rather hard to put it back on!”
“Aye, that it would.” Said the old man, turning to leave.
“I say, old fellow,” said Bob, “That leg sticking out of your bag, where did you get it?”
“It’s a present for my Grandmother” replied the old man. He paused for a minute, then continued: “She’s a fetishist, you see”
“Wow.” Said Bob, in awe, “I’ve never met a fetishist. Do you think we could come with you?”
The old man considered this proposal for a minute.
“Yes.”
“Grand,” said Bob, “Can Steve come?”
The old man grunted in assent.
“Fantabulous.” Ejaculated Bob.
Bob held onto Steve’s hands, and the old man held onto his remaining leg, and they carried him along the road. Then it began to get late.
“It’s beginning to get late.” Said the old man “Let’s stop in that cave over there.”
“What a good idea.” Said Bob
When Bob woke up in the morning, he noticed that something was amiss. Alas, he couldn’t quite tell what it was, so he decided to get up and make some breakfast for himself, the old man and Steve. But when he got up, he noticed something.
“Steve,” he called, “you’ll never guess what?”
“What?” queried Steve, perplexed.
“Well,” said Bob, “You know my leg?”
“I think I know the one.”
“Well,” laughed Bob, “It’s disappeared!”
“Gosh, really?”
“Well I can’t see it anywhere.”
“You know, Bob,” said Steve, “that’s really very funny. You know what happened to me yesterday?”
“No.”
“Well,” giggled Steve, “My leg fell off too!”
“Oh yes!” said Bob with delight, “I must say I’d quite forgotten! Let’s tell the old man. Maybe he saw where it went.”
But the old man was nowhere to be seen.