The John McCain story.

Liquid_Snake · 09-21-2008, 02:31 PM

John McCain

John McCain (Born June 19th, 2086) is an American politican, God and time traveling warrior.

John McCain was genetically engineered in an American Research Facility. Unlike normal humans, McCain contains bodily many organs which allow him to fly, shoot lasers from his eyes, and amass incredible amounts of strength. McCain's skin produced a special layer of transparent nacho cheese, allowing him to time travel without damaging his body or the space time continuum.

McCain attended West Point, where he killed fitty Notre Dame fans at a football game. Because he was soo cool, President Jack Lambert granted him a pardon, and made him Secretary of keeping it real. While there, we was deployed on a secret mission to infiltrate the Soviet Union III. While there, he stripped the sacred burrito from the hands of Josef Stalin and ran it for a 50 yard touch down return. As McCain devoured the burrito, he became immortal, and banished the ghost of George W. Bush from existence with his mind.

As McCain returned to the United States, he was promoted to Arch Duke of Arizona. While there, one of his servants, Adolf Hitler traveled to 1902 and managed to take over the world. Because Adolf was not certified to do this, s a rip in the space time continuum began to slowy destroy the world. McCain warped back to past in pursuit of Hitler, and pwned him. As McCain was about to put Hitler in the Scorpion death-lock, Hitler managed to throw Sand in McCain's eyes and ran away to Germany.

While he was in the past, he killed twenty fundamentalistsand made thier children eat his shit. Never the less, McCain's battle with Hitler had drained his powers, leaving him incapable of escaping from the past for awhile.

While in old Arizona, McCain killed an entire family with his toes, and seized thier home. While claiming residency there, McCain went to war, won a bunch of medals, became a hero, scored with a bunch of really hot girls, and eventually became senator. In 1982, McCain's powers had fully recharged. Although he was eager to return back to the year 21st Century, he realized that he needed to stay, and protect Nachos and porno.

After forseeing the Notre Dame Football team taking over the world, McCain, Thurgood Marshall, and Brian Urlacher traveled forward in time (because all of them pwned they didn't have to worry about all that space time shit). While in the future they struck down all the Notre Dame players, who were armed with Uzis, usinh only their bare hands. Following thier victory, they went back to the present, and smoked up with Zakk Wylde.

Ryu-Nacho · 09-21-2008, 07:25 PM

I liked the part about the nachos.

viper.gtsr · 09-21-2008, 08:16 PM

MrNaPaLm32 · 09-22-2008, 12:45 AM

dumb.

Dudeo · 09-22-2008, 03:07 PM

gussa · 09-24-2008, 03:53 AM

i accept the above biography as fact

inkblot · 04-23-2009, 09:04 PM

No, it doesn't work. Sorry.

diet poop · 04-23-2009, 09:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by inkblot

No, it doesn't work. Sorry.

No, it doesn't 7 months ago. Sorry.

Nitz · 04-23-2009, 10:56 PM

dammit. now i want nachos.

gussa · 04-24-2009, 02:19 AM

did someone say Nachos?

Ryu-Nacho · 04-24-2009, 06:02 PM

I just had a bowl of nachos. It was glorious.

gussa · 04-27-2009, 05:24 AM

i just had hod chocolate. twas like drinking sex.

Backflip · 04-28-2009, 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gussa

i just had hod chocolate. twas like drinking sex.

hod chocolate is the shit.

gussa · 04-29-2009, 10:17 AM

dude... how did i accidentally do THAT? the D key is like nowhere near the T

Dudeo · 04-29-2009, 02:24 PM

I ton'd know. You dell me.

Domovoi · 04-29-2009, 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Backflip

hod chocolate is the shit

I don't like hod chocolate, I was also teased as a child, to this end I always tried drowning it in mini-marshmallows but that never worked. to this day around a campfire or in the winter when people have hot chocolate I say yes, pretend to sip it, and then chuck when no-ones looking, or bring hot apple cider.

Krusty_The_Klown · 04-29-2009, 09:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dudeo

I ton'd know. You dell me.

ic wut u did thar

Backflip · 04-29-2009, 09:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Krusty_The_Klown

ic wut u did thar

*fap fap fap*

Who Wants Grapes? · 05-17-2009, 09:03 PM

theres a spell check button for a reason...

gussa · 05-18-2009, 05:16 AM

firefox automatically spell checks what i type anyway... i just don't read it sometimes.

Scotty · 05-18-2009, 12:10 PM

Always wondered why Hitler came from Germany. Now I know....Now I know...

Nitz · 05-18-2009, 01:59 PM

DAMMIT STOP BUMPING THIS THREAD!

I want nachos again.

09-21-2008, 02:31 PM	#1
Liquid_Snake SNAAAAAKKKKEEE!!!! Local Time: 05:15 PM Local Date: 05-21-2013 Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Woodbury Age: 28 Posts: 1,804 Casino Cash: $8504	The John McCain story. John McCain John McCain (Born June 19th, 2086) is an American politican, God and time traveling warrior. John McCain was genetically engineered in an American Research Facility. Unlike normal humans, McCain contains bodily many organs which allow him to fly, shoot lasers from his eyes, and amass incredible amounts of strength. McCain's skin produced a special layer of transparent nacho cheese, allowing him to time travel without damaging his body or the space time continuum. McCain attended West Point, where he killed fitty Notre Dame fans at a football game. Because he was soo cool, President Jack Lambert granted him a pardon, and made him Secretary of keeping it real. While there, we was deployed on a secret mission to infiltrate the Soviet Union III. While there, he stripped the sacred burrito from the hands of Josef Stalin and ran it for a 50 yard touch down return. As McCain devoured the burrito, he became immortal, and banished the ghost of George W. Bush from existence with his mind. As McCain returned to the United States, he was promoted to Arch Duke of Arizona. While there, one of his servants, Adolf Hitler traveled to 1902 and managed to take over the world. Because Adolf was not certified to do this, s a rip in the space time continuum began to slowy destroy the world. McCain warped back to past in pursuit of Hitler, and pwned him. As McCain was about to put Hitler in the Scorpion death-lock, Hitler managed to throw Sand in McCain's eyes and ran away to Germany. While he was in the past, he killed twenty fundamentalistsand made thier children eat his shit. Never the less, McCain's battle with Hitler had drained his powers, leaving him incapable of escaping from the past for awhile. While in old Arizona, McCain killed an entire family with his toes, and seized thier home. While claiming residency there, McCain went to war, won a bunch of medals, became a hero, scored with a bunch of really hot girls, and eventually became senator. In 1982, McCain's powers had fully recharged. Although he was eager to return back to the year 21st Century, he realized that he needed to stay, and protect Nachos and porno. After forseeing the Notre Dame Football team taking over the world, McCain, Thurgood Marshall, and Brian Urlacher traveled forward in time (because all of them pwned they didn't have to worry about all that space time shit). While in the future they struck down all the Notre Dame players, who were armed with Uzis, usinh only their bare hands. Following thier victory, they went back to the present, and smoked up with Zakk Wylde.

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09-21-2008, 07:25 PM	#2
Ryu-Nacho G-Monarch Local Time: 06:15 PM Local Date: 05-21-2013 Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: A couple feet east of the center of the Earth. Age: 26 Posts: 4,708 Casino Cash: $2662	I liked the part about the nachos.

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viper.gtsr Rainbow Teddiursa. Local Time: 05:15 PM Local Date: 05-21-2013 Join Date: Jul 2005 Age: 19 Posts: 3,457 Casino Cash: $14410

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MrNaPaLm32 Banned Local Time: 03:15 PM Local Date: 05-21-2013 Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Reno 911 Age: 22 Posts: 5,158 Casino Cash: $19561	dumb.

09-22-2008, 03:07 PM	#5
Dudeo GLITTER ACTION SHIT Tournaments Won: 2 Local Time: 06:15 PM Local Date: 05-21-2013 Join Date: Apr 2007 Age: 22 Posts: 2,798 Casino Cash: $16798	...

09-24-2008, 03:53 AM	#6
gussa The Little Colon Angel Tournaments Won: 2 Local Time: 10:15 AM Local Date: 05-22-2013 Join Date: May 2005 Location: a pirate ship Age: 21 Posts: 7,864 Casino Cash: $7279	i accept the above biography as fact

04-23-2009, 09:04 PM	#7
inkblot g-user Local Time: 07:15 PM Local Date: 05-21-2013 Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 147 Casino Cash: $4262	No, it doesn't work. Sorry.

04-23-2009, 10:56 PM	#9
Nitz //wall blocks control Tournaments Won: 4 Local Time: 04:15 PM Local Date: 05-21-2013 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cockaigne Posts: 1,459 Casino Cash: $31193	dammit. now i want nachos.

04-24-2009, 02:19 AM	#10
gussa The Little Colon Angel Tournaments Won: 2 Local Time: 10:15 AM Local Date: 05-22-2013 Join Date: May 2005 Location: a pirate ship Age: 21 Posts: 7,864 Casino Cash: $7279	did someone say Nachos?

04-24-2009, 06:02 PM	#11
Ryu-Nacho G-Monarch Local Time: 06:15 PM Local Date: 05-21-2013 Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: A couple feet east of the center of the Earth. Age: 26 Posts: 4,708 Casino Cash: $2662	I just had a bowl of nachos. It was glorious.

04-27-2009, 05:24 AM	#12
gussa The Little Colon Angel Tournaments Won: 2 Local Time: 10:15 AM Local Date: 05-22-2013 Join Date: May 2005 Location: a pirate ship Age: 21 Posts: 7,864 Casino Cash: $7279	i just had hod chocolate. twas like drinking sex.


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04-29-2009, 10:17 AM	#14
gussa The Little Colon Angel Tournaments Won: 2 Local Time: 10:15 AM Local Date: 05-22-2013 Join Date: May 2005 Location: a pirate ship Age: 21 Posts: 7,864 Casino Cash: $7279	dude... how did i accidentally do THAT? the D key is like nowhere near the T

04-29-2009, 02:24 PM	#15
Dudeo GLITTER ACTION SHIT Tournaments Won: 2 Local Time: 06:15 PM Local Date: 05-21-2013 Join Date: Apr 2007 Age: 22 Posts: 2,798 Casino Cash: $16798	I ton'd know. You dell me.

05-17-2009, 09:03 PM	#19
Who Wants Grapes? Que? Local Time: 07:15 PM Local Date: 05-21-2013 Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Bikini Bottom Age: 23 Posts: 276 Casino Cash: $337	theres a spell check button for a reason...

05-18-2009, 05:16 AM	#20
gussa The Little Colon Angel Tournaments Won: 2 Local Time: 10:15 AM Local Date: 05-22-2013 Join Date: May 2005 Location: a pirate ship Age: 21 Posts: 7,864 Casino Cash: $7279	firefox automatically spell checks what i type anyway... i just don't read it sometimes.

05-18-2009, 12:10 PM	#21
Scotty Godly. Local Time: 12:15 AM Local Date: 05-22-2013 Join Date: May 2009 Age: 24 Posts: 91 Casino Cash: $151	Always wondered why Hitler came from Germany. Now I know....Now I know...

05-18-2009, 01:59 PM	#22
Nitz //wall blocks control Tournaments Won: 4 Local Time: 04:15 PM Local Date: 05-21-2013 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cockaigne Posts: 1,459 Casino Cash: $31193	DAMMIT STOP BUMPING THIS THREAD! I want nachos again.