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Nathan Jordan : The battery does not work

[An agent will be with you shortly.]
[You are now chatting with Victor Ray .]

Victor Ray : Welcome to HP Total Care for notebook. My name is Victor. Please give me a few moments while I review your problem description details.
NOTE: For security reasons, PLEASE DO NOT send credit card information via chat.

Nathan Jordan : For future reference the serial number is CNF8223DPH and the product number is KX531AV
[10 minutes]

Victor Ray : Okay.
Nathan Jordan : I was wondering if you can file for a replacement battery
Nathan Jordan : I bellieve my product is still under warranty
Victor Ray : Yes your notebook is under warrenty.
Victor Ray : Please perform the HP Battery Health Check test.
Nathan Jordan : and where might I find that?
Victor Ray : In battery health option.
Nathan Jordan : I'm not using windows as my primary operatng system
Nathan Jordan : is that a problem?
Victor Ray : Might be issue with that Operating System.
Nathan Jordan : well, I'm certain its the battery
Nathan Jordan : since it barely fits in the laptop
Victor Ray : Okay.
Nathan Jordan : so can you file for a replacement battery?
[15 minutes]

Nathan Jordan : ...
[10 minutes]

Victor Ray : Please logon to this URL :: http://h10025.www1.hp.com/ewfrf/wc/document?docname=c00259897&cc=us&lc=en&dlc=en&product=3650978 (javascript:void(0))
Nathan Jordan : okay
Nathan Jordan : what do I do here?
Victor Ray : Please perform the steps which are there on the link.
Nathan Jordan : yes, I have done them
Nathan Jordan : the system board and power supply passed
Nathan Jordan : but the battery failed
[10 minutes]

Nathan Jordan : step 4, the PC does not power on after charging the battery
[10 minutes]

Nathan Jordan : ...
[15 minutes]

Nathan Jordan : hey victor
Nathan Jordan : I'm still here
Nathan Jordan : If you needed to go to the bathroom and pinch one off you could have just told me
Nathan Jordan : jesus
[Quits in angst]

haha, yeah I used to have an HP, and it was like a maze every time I tried to call them. I just needed a new CD/DVD drive, and they kept trying to tell me it was my burning software, so they were sending me all sorts of discs trying to claim that was the problem. It took like 2 months to convince them it was the dvd drive itself.

Is there such a thing as IT support that isn't horribly shitty?
The HP help is heaven compared to the absolutely terrible service I'm getting from the college's help desk about an email issue. It's such a horribly simple solution that even I know what's wrong with it but they have dragged it on for literally a month and a half and still have made zero progress on it. Fucking pathetic.

yeah, the worst for me was networking IT and/or ISP's. eg AT&T and Linksys/Cisco.

Yeah, ive now realized that call centers either hire douchebags or people from India.