View Full Version : Halo 4: Battle Rifle In Glory


Ryu-Nacho
05-07-2009, 06:19 PM
This is something I came across on 4chan. Thought I'd share.

-------------------------------------

after the last bauttle halo was retired to his house an nawtucket kansasa. bbut one silly auto day halo got a friend call from sgt. patspon

"halo! the covenant have retu!" yelled patspon

"im retried sgt." said halo

"they raped cortana!" yelled patspon, and halo drooped the friend and rushed upstaris like greazed lightin

"time to fish the fight" said halo as he doned his master chief battle armor "looked and loads"

when he arrived at halo ehadquarters it looked like giant had pissed his anger all over the town. the command building was swarming with bees

"covenant bees!' yelled halo "there madder then a horse nest!" but halo had quick thinking and threw a grenade at the bees and they did "im halo bitch: said amster chef not noticin the colon in his statment

inside command base halo found grunts. "these grunts are dickshit" said halo as he kicked grunts into asses. "no more grunts" but then a brote came out of the wals! like a penis through a pussy

"i hope you lick it sticky" yelle dhalo as he throwed stick grenade and exploded brote. "no need to thank me" siad halo as he gotte don the levator

at the top of the builidn ghalo sawed cortana. "cortana youre right!" yelled halo as he ran like a bat out of heck toc ortana "they raped you"

"no...i am not cortana!" YELLED CORTANA AS SHE BECAME TWENTY FOOT TENTACLE DEMON

"like a beas tout of barley" yelled halo a she puked dout his scared attle rifle. "i got the headshot bitch" and he klled tentacle demon. "now i win..."

but suddenly another aster chef appeared! who is this an!

"i am your brother halo...dark HALO" yelled dark halo as he summoed the powers of the forewinds

"you some kind of shit chink" yelled halo as he saime dhis batfried. "double headshot!" but he mised

"im using magic of shit" yelled ark halo ."shit all voer my breast!:

theres a colon in his magic!" yelled halo a she dodged lightning built. "its wher ehe gets shit!" so halo grabed his marked and fixed the colon.

"my power is gone!" yelled dark halo a she dissolve dinto halo dust. ther eworld was safed

OR WAS IT

suddenly the skies turnt black and lighting ripped the sky into parts as suddenly the atmopsehre was dislabed!

'this feeling..it is a halo!" yelled halo as he looked up and saw the supper whip in the space! "the covenenat will destrio mans!

"you cant stop me halo!" yelled darck halo omega from the halo. "i am one with halo it is my BODY and i am the BRAINS" yelled dick halo. "together i wil rule sola system!"

"always bet on halo" yelled halo and he moonjumped ten feet and flew to the halo.

"you cant win halo i am...dick halo" and he summoed thousands of brotes and super flood.

"looks like im gonna need more stickies" yelled halo and he began shoting with bat rifel. brotes did left and right and halo was going to win! but

"i am activated the halO!" yelled diark haklo as he charged halo to OVER FULL POWER. 'earth is doomed!'

"dick halo! ill finish the fight!" yelled halo as he jumpe donto dick halo and shoved his cock down his throat. "super cock explosion!" and suddenly dick halo exploded and halow as stopped.

"im a prettyean bastar" said halo as he took of his heklet to reveal samouse aran

TO BE CONTINUE

halo 5: Halo Reborn

after defeated dark halo and saved earth halo returned to his house but fund that it had been stolen by covenant

"no one steals halos hoes and gets away with it" said halo a she lite a cigar. "im going to ge tmy whos back. and so he gotte dhis abttle rifle and went out

"i must find my house" said halo and suddenly he saw as scrub with a house on top! "my god...thermonuclear resident weapon" and halo kenw that the situation was more serious. "if they fund halo armor generator, they cna make ARMY OF HAIRLO" so halo did what he did best and got in a grund take to take down the scrub

soldier son goats saw halo and boosted to his him but his tank was too much

"your gaots cant beat my take" yelled halo as he charged at the scrub. "give me bakc my house bitch"

"no" said the srub and his tried to crush halo with one of ti slegs

"want to play hatball" yelled halo as he shotted the leg and the scu fell\

"
shit" yelled scrub. halo clibmed u the scub and planted a bomb on it and then pciked up his hows and flew away as the scrub epxloded

"no scrub allowed" said halo as he flew into the sanskrit

THE END?

suddenly srub got back up!

"fool i was only playing dead" said srub and he fired a beam at halo and destroye dhis house!

'my house..." said halo "you're gonna die chickenshit" and halo gotte dhis rock launcher. "suck ion this faggot" yelle dhalo as he put his dick in the launcher and fire dit at scrub

"shit dick" yelles crub as he knew what was coming

"im halo...bitch" yelled halo as the srub epxlode din a gooey mess "done mess with halo" but now halo had know where else to live, so he built srub into a flying house

'sorry for stealing house" said srub

"halo forgives my friend" said halo and halo and scurb became best friends

TO BE CONTINUE

Willy_Wonka
05-07-2009, 09:07 PM
wat

Nitz
05-07-2009, 11:29 PM
we're in a sad sad state...

MrNaPaLm32
05-10-2009, 05:15 PM
stupid

insan3
05-10-2009, 05:50 PM
too long

rebel12340
05-10-2009, 09:26 PM
That made absolutely no fucking sense.

Ryu-Nacho
05-10-2009, 11:15 PM
"im halo bitch: said amster chef not noticin the colon in his statment
Sure, it's terribly written, but it's a hilarious read, and u gaiz r makin' me sad. =(

MrNaPaLm32
05-11-2009, 12:48 AM
how are you 22 and still hang around on that site?

Ryu-Nacho
05-11-2009, 10:38 PM
how are you 22 and still hang around on that site?
Are you implying that there is something wrong with going to a website in which I may converse with like-minded people in a generally friendly manner on various topics?
I guess I should stop going to gprime too.

rebel12340
05-13-2009, 05:06 PM
I didn't really find that to be funny, but then again I only read like the first 5 lines before I started thinking, "Whoever wrote this is a fucking retard."

MrNaPaLm32
05-17-2009, 09:07 PM
Are you implying that there is something wrong with going to a website in which I may converse with like-minded people in a generally friendly manner on various topics?
I guess I should stop going to gprime too.If you're implying that you enjoy posting pictures of your penis, random pictures of someone pulling their asshole open, and just disgusting shit in general, then sure I guess there is something wrong with it.

Ryu-Nacho
05-17-2009, 11:09 PM
If you're implying that you enjoy posting pictures of your penis, random pictures of someone pulling their asshole open, and just disgusting shit in general, then sure I guess there is something wrong with it.
Number of boards on 4chan: 44
Number that match this description: 2 or 3

MrNaPaLm32
05-18-2009, 01:44 AM
Number of boards on 4chan: 44
Number that match this description: 2 or 3Regardless, it's the asshole of the internet.

gussa
05-18-2009, 05:14 AM
no.. /b/ is the asshole of the internet.

MrNaPaLm32
05-18-2009, 03:05 PM
I see the 4chanians are starting to speak up

Ryu-Nacho
05-18-2009, 10:44 PM
I see the 4chanians are starting to speak up
I think you should give 4chan a try. Maybe their technology board or something. If you really can't stand it, that's fine. But basing your opinion off one or two visits to /b/ isn't right, bro. =(

MrNaPaLm32
05-19-2009, 02:35 AM
I think you should give 4chan a try. Maybe their technology board or something. If you really can't stand it, that's fine. But basing your opinion off one or two visits to /b/ isn't right, bro. =(I've spent a decent amount of time in /b/ looking for demotivators and/or other random crap. Its mostly my disdain for Japanese culture.

gussa
05-19-2009, 03:47 AM
I think you should give 4chan a try. Maybe their technology board or something. If you really can't stand it, that's fine. But basing your opinion off one or two visits to /b/ isn't right, bro. =(

I've spent a decent amount of time in /b/ looking for demotivators and/or other random crap. Its mostly my disdain for Japanese culture.

again we keep trying to reiterate
/b/ =/= to 4chan.
go to other boards that might interest you. technology, R9K, Music, Wallpapers
WHATEVER!
aside from /b/, it actually isn't that bad a place. hell, even /b/ is overrated most of the time... mainly because of people who bad mouth it and proclaim it to be the 'absolute lowest of all lows" before even going there.

personally, i like the music boards and R9K...

Ryu-Nacho
05-20-2009, 11:22 AM
Its mostly my disdain for Japanese culture.
Here, have a Russian animu candy bar.
http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a125/RyuNacho/comrade-kagami.jpg
personally, i like the music boards and R9K...
Animu & Mango and Video Games for me.

Nicky
05-20-2009, 01:43 PM
I've been on 4chan a few times... The art section's alright.

What I really wish is that I could read Japanese so I could enjoy 2channel. I'm just so curious what it's like.

Dudeo
05-20-2009, 02:19 PM
I'm a creeper on /x/, but I also like wallpaper and high-res.

Willy_Wonka
05-21-2009, 02:44 PM
I'm a creeper on /x/, but I also like wallpaper and high-res.

yeah, me too. I don't /b/ a whole lot. Chips handon and his battle rolls makes me laugh all the time though.