i promise ill post the full finished version when im finished but right now i need some help.

basic synopsis.

jeremy von mickley is basically a character who has such a repulsion towards conformism that he changes his life drasticly. he quits his job, changes his hair, music, social group and starts a new life as a *insert help here*....

before realising that what he has become is yet another mainstream steriotype.... what should he become?
a punk?, emo?, metro?, asian?


please help me out with prefereably some serious answers... im sure youll like the finished peice too...

(p.s. if you happen to be my english teacher reading this please know that angus robson has not plagarised this work :P)

European Gigolo.

-.-

Well, whatever you choose, don't say anything about it outright. Make him into a player, because so many men are players, or at least think they are.

Have him put a bomb into his own head that goes off if he conforms. Thats pretty non-conformist.

Pickup artist! Please please please turn him into a pickup artist!

If not a pickup artist, an assassin or mercenary (it took me a minute to remember the word; I wanted to say missionary) although the latter two could be a little tough if he's a teenager.

A roaming dildo merchant. Like those door-to-door vacuum salesmen.

A balloon salesman?
I do like the idea of a mercenary or maybe a train robber of some sort.

Make him become an overachieving Asian.

A nudist. Or a drug addict. Sounds like its got a Clockwork Orange feel to it, so go with something gritty.

stripper becomes a trophy wife.

Jeremy Phillips’ mind had caught fire. The image of the crowd before him. The pulsating, bouncing, screaming, spitting entity that stood for everything he did not was staring him in the face in the downtown club he considered his second home.
Jeremy was a boofaboy, a skinhead, a thug. The kind of person who people would call scum when passing by in the street. Jeremy loved hearing it to. He hated doing what people told him to. He hated conformism and everything it stood for. he never saw the sense in people mindlessly following fads like herds of cattle. Which is why he so loved this new music that they called “punk”.
Were it any other man viewing the size of the crowd, they would be overjoyed at the growing strength of the punk movement. However, this was not just any other man. This was Jeremy and he was horrified. He could read the signs and new that a fad was forming, and fad’s attracted cattle.
This was tragic. His beloved respite against conformism, his home in a world of disappointment had become just another brick in the wall.
His mind flipped. He had to get out of there somehow. He ran.
2-3 months later, a very different Jeffery Phillips was standing in a very different second home. The leather jacket and intimidating chains he once wore were gone. They were of no use to him anymore. They were replaced by the drab grey clothing and unshaven face of a man that looked as if he had spent his life in a slum of outer Moscow. This Jeremy considered his new camouflage. His tools and weapons of his trade. He no longer believed that he could directly combat conformism. His ironic choice of communism over anarchism was (in his mind at least) completely logical. And anyone who disputed it was simply fuelling his mentality.
As the drab grey coat and shabby beard sat down in a small clearing amongst the concrete jungle, the cold began to sink into Jeremy’s bones. Like a cloth soaking up water he could feel it creeping slowly to his core. He reached into one of hi pockets and produced a packet of cigarettes. As he lit the end, he could feel the warmth of the flame against his face. As he inhaled, the warm cyanide silk running through his throat into his lungs and making him feel whole.
“Good evening comrade”. A voice had startled him. He had kept his eyes closed though all of this and so was unaware of another presence until it had decided to make him aware of it. Jeremy looked up. It was another man of no significance. He too had depressing clothes and a chin that grew that black stubble that Jeremy had hoped to emulate on his face.
“Do you have a cigarette to spare brother?” the voice asked again. Jeremy willingly obliged and lit the small white cylinder for the voice so that he too could experience the silky soot running through his lungs. Naturally a conversation broke out. The voice told him that his name was Bilo and that he was just like Jeremy.
“You hate the government runs the country. You want things to change. You want everyone to be equal. Am I right?”. In fact Jeremy couldn’t have disagreed more with Bilo. But Bilo was inviting Jeremy to a meeting in an old libraries basement and Jeremy was looking forward to sitting somewhere warm so he played along for the time being.
Minutes later Jeremy was being led to what Bilo called “the meeting place”. The hatch was under a carpet that needed a bookcase to be cleared before you could enter. This was about as unnerving to Jeremy as it was exiting. After a climb down a ladder he was presented with another site that was extremely unnerving and not at all exiting. Another crowd was in the basement. Another entity of beards and clothes that dittoed Jeremy’s perfectly. He couldn’t believe it. Even in this alternate way of life there were cattle. Jeremy could look into the crowd and recognize the faces of people he had seen in the punk rock club. It was another brick in the wall.
It drove Jeremy insane. No matter where he went or what he became, he could not escape conformism. Every time he turned a corner, he was met with the same mindless expressions on the same faces of the same cattle. a punk, a pimp, a communist, a wizard, a bum. It didn’t matter. He had tried everything he could think of and even some things he would never have though of if it weren’t for the things he had tried but it seemed that no one could escape becoming another brick in someone’s wall. He became obsessed with keeping different. Finding any similarity with the man next to him would send Jeremy into a fit of shock followed by a complete change of lifestyle.
As he opened his eyes and allowed a moment for them to readjust, he found himself to be staring at a hospital roof. This was no surprise and neither was the white lab coat with a doctor inside standing at the foot of his bed.
“ahh Jeremy…. Finally awake… or should I call you Julia now?” the lab coat said. “I think you’ll be please to know that the gender reassignment surgery went smoothly with no hiccups expected now or in the future. So long as you stay on the medication, you should be fine”.
Jeremy was overjoyed. Finally he had found something that no one else had ever perceived. He had gone and changed the one thing that everyone normally kept the same throughout their lives. Their gender. He no longer had anyway of relating to the person next to him. He didn’t have to keep making excuses as to why he was no better than the man sitting across from him on the bus. The lab coat could see that Jeremy was pleased and so could the doctor. As he smiled and began to walk away.
“oh before I go, I think you may be interested in this” said the doctor as the lab coat handed a card with a number written on it.
Julia read the card and was once again sent into a fit. She was restrained and promptly reexamined before being sent to a mental home.
The card read
“GRS social support group for post operative transsexuals.” The slogan read
“you are not alone”...

I lol'd at the end. Well written structure and content wise, but there were a lot of grammar errors.

that i realise... i ot a friend to help me correct everything before i submitted it but that was the un edited version..

Divide it into small paragraphs so it's easier to read. It was alright but was kind of confusing at times such as when the guy was turning into a girl. Although that could just be me spacing out. I do think that the story could've taken a better direction because then what happens? Julia talks to her friends on the phone about manicures for two hours? Becomes a female assassin? I do hope the he or she turns into an assassin because that would be SOOO badass.

Divide it into small paragraphs so it's easier to read. It was alright but was kind of confusing at times such as when the guy was turning into a girl. Although that could just be me spacing out. I do think that the story could've taken a better direction because then what happens? Julia talks to her friends on the phone about manicures for two hours? Becomes a female assassin? I do hope the he or she turns into an assassin because that would be SOOO badass.

Actually, I thought that other than the beginning paragraph the end was the clearest part of the story. Except for when suddenly his name became Julia.

Then it probably was me spacing out. I find it hard to concentrate on reading large amounts on a message board instead of in an actual book.

i find it hard to concentrate when reading from a book anyway so you arent alone..

oh and at SUPAFOOL
i wanted the sudden change from Jeremy to Julia to shock readers on purpose.

Yes, I noticed gussa, but I felt like it could've been more obvious that it was Jeremy, by saying something like

"said the doctor as the lab coat handed a card with a number written on it to her.
Julia read the card and was once again sent into a fit"

It's a basic change, but it makes it very obvious that Jeremy is now known as Julia.

thanks for the tip... ill remember that..

The ending may need some modification.