I have not asked anyone to proofread some of my work and I figured it is time to post stuff where people will actually see it.
Like the Tides of Sand by Jonathan Sullivan (thehappylittleClayFox)

Four pillars of yellow stone tower high
The floor of marble covered in sand
The doors open, the windows missing
A faint hum begins
Winds carry the smell of flowers
The sand stirs and the music grows
Lights begin to glow and the hall is vast
The slow, sweet mourning of the violin
A piano, uplifting with its song
The wind blows the sand away
The music is the wind
The wind is the music
A child’s voice, so soft and wonderful
A child’s voice, so pure and high
The children become adults and they hum
The song is deep, the stone hums with it
The wind grows and the song grows
A simple voice, so slow the song it sings
Forgotten, this heart
The hum grows, the voice stays
The sea and sand
The sand behind become airborne
And so the rain
The sand becomes a rain
Shall make you strong
The pillars become trees
You are free, so fly to he
The stone of the floor becomes short grass
Who will welcome you
The walls fade, revealing a steppe
As you welcomed him
A woman stands atop a mighty mountain
So long ago
She runs down the mountain
When he returned from that sand
A man walks from the desert side to the mountain
And he will weep
He raises a sword
With such joy
A pass is cut in to the mountain
Because at last
The music grows and the voice grows
He might dance again
The two are dancing with tears in their eyes
With you in his arms
They are on a hill, watching clouds
And perhaps, you will both be at ease
They are dancing again, under the four trees
In each other’s arms
The hall returns, under the pillars stands a boy
Again, dance, again and again dance
He hopes, his girl might dance with him

Please be honest and let me know what you think. Also if you have anything you wrote and want me to read post it here, as far as I am concerned it is already copyrighted.

is this a poem or a song..

It is a poem.

If it were a song he'd include labels like chorus or something.

i think its pretty good...
is it about anything in particular?
p.s. it could easily be transformed into a song..

Thank you, I am working on a much longer poem with about twelve or so sections. I seem to be attacking the same story but in different medias. For a while I considered a graphic novel but it landed up being too, well graphic when it came to the parts about was.
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What am I? I am the sunrise and sunset. I am flowers and I am the mountain grass. You see me in a woman’s eyes and in the toils of man. I am the diamond in the rough, cut by the sun baked sands. You know my name but can rarely speak it thus. I am the last blossom of the Spring and the last to leave in Autumn. I am the Warrior’s Hope and Promise. I am the Sun and I am the Moon. I am the dreamer who lay dreaming and the ink of a poet’s pen, but when you look back on me your memory will change just then. As I warp and fade you shall not see but what was once me. I am exuberant and I am cold, forceful yet controlled. What am I?